Topics of the Week - Archive

December 7, 2007

Thought of the Week

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

-- The Dalai Lama

Topic of the Week: Ways to Help Caregivers…

These tips are specific concrete things that you can do today to help the caregivers in your life. Many are geared toward parents caring for young affected children but are helpful for any type of caregiver: parent, spouse, adult child, grandparent or friend.

Offer Concrete Help/Don't Wait to Be Asked: Care giving, routine household tasks, and even trips to the supermarket can exhaust our energy. When you are out running to the grocery store, dry cleaners or drug store ask if we need anything picked up or if there are any other errands you could do while you are already out. Be a cook, baker or buy a nourishing and healthy treat.

Provide Companionship: It is easy for parents to feel isolated and alone and too tired to reach out. Offer to come along to a doctor's appointment. Make a weekly breakfast date, ask to drop in with coffee and pastry, offer to take a walk, or call on the phone.

Organize Family Get-Togethers: Offer invitations to the whole family to visit your home. The simple mechanics of feeding, transporting, and caring rule out many activities families take for granted, such as going to a ballgame or even to a mall. Being invited to someone's home may be the only type of activity a whole family can do together.

Invite Siblings to Participate in Your Family Outgoing: Siblings of children with serious illnesses often miss out on fun. Parents worry about these missed opportunities and often feel guilty about it. Offers by family and friends to entertain siblings are valuable to both the children and their parents.

Be Yourself: If you don't know what to say, be honest. If you are uncomfortable handling a child who is weak or stiff or has a feeding tube, let parents know. There are many other things you can offer. Use your strengths to help. If you love to cook – offer to cook; if you love to shop – offer to run some errands; if you love organizing – offer to clean the house etc.

Listen First: Caregivers of someone with serious illness have a lot to say. Feelings expressed are not right or wrong, they simply are. Many times expressions of anxiety or frustration are NOT requests for advice. Listen and acknowledge but only offer advice if asked.

Relate to the Affected Child or Person: Acknowledge the person, even if they can't talk or respond in obvious ways. Gentle touches, a kiss on the forehead, or a few sweet words are special gifts. Do not focus solely on the disabilities. Ask the caregivers what the child/person would like. Perhaps the child/person could benefit from hearing a story or a song, or placing their hand on something soft. Not only will the child/person enjoy the attention, but the caregivers will appreciate their loved-one being treated with such loving attention.

Share your tip on the NTSAD Message Board ! You must be logged-in to enter, contact Kim with any log-in issues at Kim@ntsad.org or 800-906-8723.

Please, remember that you can call the office and speak with Diana or Kim with any concerns,
questions or suggestions - our door is always open!

Diana Pangonis
Interim Executive Director
Diana@ntsad.org
800-906-8723